KILLEEN, Texas (KXXV) — Mariana Alarcon says her and her cousin Brenda couldn't have been closer.
In fact, Brenda moved to Texas from Illinois to be closer to Mariana.
When Brenda's health declined and she passed away in 2023, Mariana took it hard, grieving the loss of her loved one.
The Director of Mission and Ministry at Advent Health and a local a mental health expert share ways to cope with loss during the holiday season.
- According to Sergio Silva, Director of Mission and Ministry with Advent Health, the first step is acknowledging loss and understanding that point forward will be different
- Mental Health Expert Colette Fehr says you have to put yourself first
- If you don't it's going to be that much harder time with everything else around you
BROADCAST TRANSCRIPT:
Killeen resident Mariana Alarcon says her and her cousin Brenda were inseparable.
“There’s not a memory without her growing up. Always coming to my house, literally since we were little it was always a trio of us: her, myself and our other cousin,” Alarcon said.
Calling Brenda her angel, as she moved to Texas from Chicago in September 2021 so they could be closer.
“Everything is going great,” she said.
In March 2022, Brenda’s health began to decline, including a double triple negative breast cancer diagnosis.
“Of course she was upset, but right off the top of her head it was ‘I’m going to beat this, we’re going to get through this together' — I think I was more distraught than her. No one wants to hear the person that you love has stage three breast cancer let alone let alone at age 28,” Alarcon said.
But just seven months later, she was declared cancer free.
Fast forward to March 2023, thinking she was on the mend, the cancer came back with a vengeance.
“Here cancer metastasized and there was nothing they could do for her,” Alarcon said.
Five months later, on August 26, 2023, Brenda passed away.
For Mariana, it’s been tough, especially during the holidays
“This whole year that’s been going by, I’ve kind of been on auto pilot where you’re in shock that that person’s not here anymore,” Alarcon said.
So how can people dealing with grief cope during this time of year?
“You must acknowledge that loss, understanding that life from that point forward will be different. So that’s the first step,” said Sergio Silva, Director of Mission and Ministry with Advent Health.
— and for the friends and family you surround yourself with.
“Letting people know what’s going on always creates safety for them and lets people know how they can best tend to you,” said Colette Fehr, Licensed Family Therapist and Mental Health Councilor.
Brenda's memory surrounds Mariana’s home during the holidays, even adoring the top of her tree, but she knows even though time moves on, the memories she shares with her cousin will be with her always.
“Remember your family members— I think that’s the best thing to do," she said.
"Don’t think that bringing them up is going to make people sad. Yeah, it’ll make you sad, but it’s a way to keep them alive,” Alarcon said.
